


Salvation

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-05-20
Updated: 2000-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-11 03:47:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11140434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Ray's had a bad day.  Can Fraser help?





	Salvation

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

 

Disclaimers: They aren't mine

 

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Disclaimers:They aren't mine.Well, I'm claiming Ray K as my own.I will share him on alternate weekends.

Notes:Not Beta'd.This kind of came to me while I was listening to a song.Forgive the song lyrics, I heard this and it struck a chord (get it 'chord'? *sigh* nevermind!) in me.I guess you could say this is how I see Ray feeling after all the times Stella is a bitch to him.Of course Fraser is going to cheer him up!

Ratings:PG-13 

Author's website:http://home.att.net/~lojojan

## Salvation

### By:Lori J

Ray Kowalski was tired.Tired of pretending to be someone else. Tired of bearing the brunt of Stella's anger.It seemed like every time he saw her she was more and more cruel.When had things gone so wrong?They had been happy once, right?Or had he just been fooling himself all those years?

Sighing heavily, Ray unlocked the door to his apartment.Keys on the table in the hallway, coat on the hook.Or the floor.Didn't matter.Not much mattered these days.Music.That's what he needed.Something loud and fast to get rid of the shitty thoughts in his head.

Flicking the power button on the stereo, Ray popped in a CD that he hadn't heard in awhile.Stella had never liked this band, or any of his music.She was always too busy studying or preparing for a case.A killer guitar riff signaled the start of the song.

 _You cut me up_

 _You cut me down_

 _You cut me in two_

 _How can I explain_

 _Or dignify the things that you do_

That was Stella all right.Never happy, never content.Constantly harping on him to dress better, to stop talking like a 'Chicago hick'.And Ray had tried.Had tried hard because this was Stella.Tried hard because it cut him to the bone each time she made some excuse not to bring him to social functions. _'Just a boring dinner party, Ray.No need for you to go.'_ Her eyes told him everything he needed to know. _'You embarrass me, Ray.Why would I want someone like you along?'_

He knew it was over when Stella stopped coming home after work.He didn't blame her.Not much anyway.All they seemed to do was fight.Ray wanted kids; Stella felt they would hold her back from The Career.She had made it clear in several of the last big blowouts that she felt Ray was dragging her down, keeping her from The Career.

All in all, a fucked-up ending to what had once been a beautiful relationship.Life sucked.He sucked and made sure he drilled this point into his thick skull.He could have done better, done what she asked.He could have changed; he just hadn't done it soon enough.

Nights of loneliness were followed by days of loneliness.Ray missed her.They had been Ray and Stella for so long, he didn't know how to be just Ray anymore.Didn't know how to sleep alone, live alone.God, he sucked.He'd driven her away.

Many nights had been spent sitting on the couch, staring down at the gun in his hand.It would be so easy...one bullet would end it all.All the pain, gone in an instant.

Then the job covering for a detective in the 27th came up.Here was his chance.A chance to be someone else for a while.Live another life.How many people got that chance?So he accepted it without a second thought.And a Mountie saved his life.

An honest-to-God fucking Mountie.They wanted him to partner with Dudley Do Right.Ray hadn't wanted to at first, but the job and the Mountie were a package deal.So he'd shrugged and went about the business of living another man's life.All went well until the Mountie came back from his holiday.

Ray had felt something the moment he'd set eyes on the man.That something had grown when he hugged the handsome Canadian.The hug had been a spur of the moment thing; Ray had learned the hard way that if showed your feelings, they got trampled on.

But Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police had broken through those barriers hadn't he?Barriers that had toughened to near impenetrable after The Stella had left them in ruins.Fraser had no problems telling Ray he had done a good job, never had a problem trusting his 'hunches'.Things were starting to look up.

 _I am not a mess_

 _I'm not the freak_

 _That you once spoke to_

 _But I am right here_

 _I am complete_

#  If I'm not then you're a joke--too

Stella hadn't been able to figure out what had changed.Suddenly her fawning ex-husband was not so fawning.Ray made token attempts to ask her out, but they had been shot down immediately.But something was different and Ray could see she was relieved, but confused and a little hurt as well.

Oh, Stel, if you only knew.Fraser truly had been a life saver.He had saved Ray from a life of loneliness.The two men had developed a strong friendship and soon that friendship developed into...something else.Something stronger.

Love. 

Ray Kowalski knew love again and it was beautiful.

 _No more wasted time_

 _To redefine our lives to you--_

 _You've got something to prove to you--_

 _Think you've got something to prove to me_

 _\--I've got nothing to prove to you_

Ben had shown Ray what it was like to love and be loved in return.He didn't think that he and Stella had ever had anything like that.Didn't matter if they hadn't.When he and Ben had become lovers, his whole outlook had changed.The sky was bluer, the grass greener. 

Best of all, Stella was a distant memory.She knew it too; snide remarks increased, insults piled up.

 _Want me to pay_

 _Want me to fall_

 _I'm not sure who is disgraced_

 _You locked yourself_

 _Into a vault_

 _Now your face is mean_

She had tried every way, shape, and form to bring Ray down.The fact that her ex-husband was in love and it was no longer with her was a slap in the face as far as Stella was concerned.How dare he move on?

Fraser was the best buffer he could ask for.Stella knew something was up between the two of them, but couldn't get answers from anyone at the 27th.Stella had stepped on a lot of people as she climbed to the top.People with long memories.

Lost in the past, Ray didn't hear the key turning in the lock.He didn't even know that his lover was home until he felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Ray?Is everything all right?" 

Ray sighed.Ben was home.He would make things better."Not really.Had a shitty day."

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to come to the station, but Inspector Thatcher is out of town."Fraser sat down next to Ray and hugged him close.

Closing his eyes, Ray allowed himself to be pulled against the bigger man's warmth.Felt good, Fraser was always so warm."S'ok, Frase."Relaxing further, Ray sighed again.

"Ray?"Ben sounded concerned."Are you-"

"I'll be fine in awhile.Can we just...cuddle for awhile?"

"Of course."Fraser shifted them around until they were lying face to face on the couch.He wrapped his arms around the blonde and pulled him close.Ray sighed contentedly and rested his head in the hollow between Ben's neck and shoulder.

Ben just held him, stroking Ray's back and humming softly.It wasn't long before the smaller man fell asleep, safe and warm, in his lover's arms.

Ray's last thought before drifting off was that it was so sad that Stella would never feel like he did right now.She would never let anyone get too close.

 _I want to give you something, something_

 _That you never had_

 _I want to give you something, something_

 _That I never had_

"I love you, Ray," whispered Fraser.

The End

Song lyrics are from 'Cut Me Up' by Headstones.


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